Monday, June 29, 2009
As I read about the plight of Little Charmaine, the 4 years old girl who is in the 4th stage of neuroblastoma, and her mother, Cynthia, I couldn't help but notice that her father was not mentioned in all the blog posts and pictures. Her mum, her older brother and even her godmother was mentioned. But no, no daddy appear.
I got my answers on the official donation page for Charmaine (http://ourfeistyprincess.com/about_charmaine_family.php). Turns out that bastard father of hers left Cynthia at 7th of her pregnancy for her friend. He then barred himself from the kids, having held Charmaine for a few minutes in his arms when she was born. The kids never saw their father again.
And with the whole family thrown into a state of shock and despair, while Little Charmaine is frantically fighting for her life, I wonder how is it possible for a parent to simply pretend that the poor child lying in the bed with all those tubes poked into her is not his, that he was not acquainted with that woman going crazy looking after her ill-stricken daughter and raising funds of half a million SIN dollars for surgery. That all that is happening is not his responsibility, of no relation to his and therefore, there is nothing he should do.
And to call yourself a man. You might as well cut off your dick and start putting on tits. But even doing that is really an insult to women because the very woman you deserted is doing a great job facing up to challenges and living her life well (without you, if I may add).
It irks to me think of the possibility that even strangers are more compassionate and hold greater empathy than Charmaine's own dad. Till date, close to $400,000 of funds have been raised.
I pity the girl he went off with. Considering that he could have done this to Cynthia, he will be able to do this to you.
Good Luck.
I got my answers on the official donation page for Charmaine (http://ourfeistyprincess.com/about_charmaine_family.php). Turns out that bastard father of hers left Cynthia at 7th of her pregnancy for her friend. He then barred himself from the kids, having held Charmaine for a few minutes in his arms when she was born. The kids never saw their father again.
And with the whole family thrown into a state of shock and despair, while Little Charmaine is frantically fighting for her life, I wonder how is it possible for a parent to simply pretend that the poor child lying in the bed with all those tubes poked into her is not his, that he was not acquainted with that woman going crazy looking after her ill-stricken daughter and raising funds of half a million SIN dollars for surgery. That all that is happening is not his responsibility, of no relation to his and therefore, there is nothing he should do.
And to call yourself a man. You might as well cut off your dick and start putting on tits. But even doing that is really an insult to women because the very woman you deserted is doing a great job facing up to challenges and living her life well (without you, if I may add).
It irks to me think of the possibility that even strangers are more compassionate and hold greater empathy than Charmaine's own dad. Till date, close to $400,000 of funds have been raised.
I pity the girl he went off with. Considering that he could have done this to Cynthia, he will be able to do this to you.
Good Luck.
iamnotaileen, 11:40 AM.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Was clearing the photos in my N78 and found some pretty interesting pictures.
This big red nose gave me a scare
turns out to be that of the reindeer toy JK bought for XmasI begin to think that was really JK, with my camera, at work when more bizarre pictures turn up..
And even a personification of Qi Zai?
You see, my bf is a soft toy fanatic (don't ask me why!)You realized it has been ages since you last cleared the pictures in your phone when photos such as these appear..
Batam was liked last yr July??In fact I had the whole album, intact, in my phone. Which makes it unfortunate for someone
*WARNING: the following photo may result in uncontrollable hysterical laughter*
HAHAHAHA!I shaldn't comment on the less successful shots
This is so much better. Expression and gestures.
Loving it.Sometimes I wonder if my friends pray to the God of Retribution (*points to MP*) because after having a good laugh, I receive my karma immediately in the next picture.
This is cruel retribution to yours truly who has been on a #@%!(*&^ liquid diet for the past 3 weeks.Onto HAPPIER photos..
you know who you have been spending more time with from the pictures in your phone
He appears in half of the pictures :)
This photo caught me by surprise. I would think that I used a digital camera for such occasions. But in a twist of fate, it is indeed that I spend most of my time with my family :)A camera phone is really good when it comes to impromptu shots
Spotted a toad on the road sometime ago
Following Chitendo Vii, Maybellina and 校内网 (the Ching version of Facebook),we have Hi! Kitty!
JK said these are my biscuits :)And finally I saw my own face!
I can't help but wonder if anyone will recognize me now.*now you know how bored I am*
iamnotaileen, 12:39 AM.
Monday, June 8, 2009
My Post-Op Diet
Am so bored that I decided to do an introduction of my daily diet.
My mouthwash. Still need them because I can't brush my teeth yet.
Am so bored that I decided to do an introduction of my daily diet.
Ensure Milk - my best friend for the past 10 days. It seriously doesn't taste fantastic but because it is the only liquid food that contains all the essential vitamins and minerals I need, I have no choice.
Anlene - to promote bone growth. Surgeon broke my jaw bone
Some milo and hot chocolate (usually during lunch) for some variety
Some cold juices to deal with the unbearing heat. And to mix with my bitter antibiotics.
Syringes for drinking and rinsing mouth. Can imagine what a chore it is to feed myself using this syringes. Don't even feel like drinking at times because it is just so troublesome.
My mouthwash. Still need them because I can't brush my teeth yet.
iamnotaileen, 10:05 AM.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Copyrighted from Samantha. She caught this gondola guy on her Europe trip with Stephanie.
He looks so god damn GOOD with that expression.
iamnotaileen, 10:02 PM.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
WARNING: Long post ahead
My sister came into my room yesterday and said she was disappointed with me for not expressing thanks to my family for what they have done for me.
For a split second, I thought I saw a ghost from the past. But that is not the point here.
Point is I thought I did express my thanks, but looking through my blog again, I realize I didn't.
I remembered flaring up at JK over this minute issue. A friend wanted to use his laptop. JK's keypad has this silicon protective cover over it and, his friend, complaining that it was too difficult to type with it, removed the cover without JK's consent. JK merely took a glance at his friend and continued with his work, when earlier in the day he yelled at me for doing the very same thing.
At that point of time I couldn't understand why he was more tolerant towards his friend as compared to his girlfriend, someone who is supposingly closer. But I came to realize he is not the only one guilty of such actions. The funny thing is we are often polite to strangers and nasty to those closed to us. We tend to expect more from people closer to us and less from hello-and-good-bye friends.
So back to my sister's point. The reason why it did not dawn on me that my family was contributing was probably because I saw them as contributing less (relative to their relationship with me) as compared to others (such as my aunt and JK).
My mum
My mum was with me the first day of the surgery. She started crying and blaming herself when she saw me vomitting stale blood out. Subsequently, she went down with a sore throat and was told by the doctor to stay away from me. So the next time I saw her was back at home; day 3 post opt.
And yes, she did care for me back home. Helped crush me medicine into powder form. Prepare my liquid diet. So probably I do owe her a thanks for that.
My dad
The only time he ever appeared in the hospital was when someone arrived to relief the person accompanying me then. Not that I blame him for that. My dad is a panicky person and the last thing I want was for him to be overly worried when he sees me in that gruesome state. I even told him to stay away from me in fear that he cannot take that sight. So the only thing he really did was to ferry people around to visit me, and oh ya, make payment for my surgery.
My sister
She came down on the second day of my surgery at bout 3 pm and stayed till midnight to take care of me. I do owe her a thanks for that because I could tell that she was really trying to help. And she was really helping. Washing my eating utensils and making the milk for me.
My aunt
The reason why she was the first person that came to my mind when it comes to thanking someone for taking care of me, boils down all to the efforts she took, relative to my relationship with her. She stayed overnight with me for the two days I was at the hospital. She and me, alone. And half of the time she wasn't even sleeping; she wakesto the slighest shuffling of my feet, or sounds of me adjusting my sleeping posture. No matter how I tried to keep my volume to the lowest, she wakes everytime I make a sound, even the slighest sound of all. The second night was worse. The drooling and neck strain made sleeping impossible. I kept tossing and turning in bed and my aunt was fussing over me all the while trying to make sleep easier for me.
What really touched me was that she was all willing to stay overnight with me despite having to work the next day. And mind you, she was just my aunt. Not my mother, not my father, not my sister, not my brother, not my husband. She is just an aunt. Frankly speaking she isn't even in my list of the 10 People I am Closest To. Yet, she was willing to go such extra miles for me.
Essentially, it is not that I do not acknowledge the care and concern my nuclear family gave me. I guess it all boils down to relativity. That because they closer to me, I would expect more from them as compared to someone like my aunt and JK. So in that light, I saw my aunt as contributing more as compared to my family.
Like what MP said, my dad was probably quietly worried about me, and I was just too independent to give them a chance to be concerned about me. In fact, I did not want to depend on anyone, my family in particular, because I didn't want their daily lives to be disrupted because of me. I didn't want my mum to feel extra pressure because she had to take care of me. I didn't want my sister to feel extra inconvenience because of my mum taking extra care of me.
I feel that I have much more to say but all the thoughts are jumbled up. Shall sort them out first.
My sister came into my room yesterday and said she was disappointed with me for not expressing thanks to my family for what they have done for me.
For a split second, I thought I saw a ghost from the past. But that is not the point here.
Point is I thought I did express my thanks, but looking through my blog again, I realize I didn't.
I remembered flaring up at JK over this minute issue. A friend wanted to use his laptop. JK's keypad has this silicon protective cover over it and, his friend, complaining that it was too difficult to type with it, removed the cover without JK's consent. JK merely took a glance at his friend and continued with his work, when earlier in the day he yelled at me for doing the very same thing.
At that point of time I couldn't understand why he was more tolerant towards his friend as compared to his girlfriend, someone who is supposingly closer. But I came to realize he is not the only one guilty of such actions. The funny thing is we are often polite to strangers and nasty to those closed to us. We tend to expect more from people closer to us and less from hello-and-good-bye friends.
So back to my sister's point. The reason why it did not dawn on me that my family was contributing was probably because I saw them as contributing less (relative to their relationship with me) as compared to others (such as my aunt and JK).
My mum
My mum was with me the first day of the surgery. She started crying and blaming herself when she saw me vomitting stale blood out. Subsequently, she went down with a sore throat and was told by the doctor to stay away from me. So the next time I saw her was back at home; day 3 post opt.
And yes, she did care for me back home. Helped crush me medicine into powder form. Prepare my liquid diet. So probably I do owe her a thanks for that.
My dad
The only time he ever appeared in the hospital was when someone arrived to relief the person accompanying me then. Not that I blame him for that. My dad is a panicky person and the last thing I want was for him to be overly worried when he sees me in that gruesome state. I even told him to stay away from me in fear that he cannot take that sight. So the only thing he really did was to ferry people around to visit me, and oh ya, make payment for my surgery.
My sister
She came down on the second day of my surgery at bout 3 pm and stayed till midnight to take care of me. I do owe her a thanks for that because I could tell that she was really trying to help. And she was really helping. Washing my eating utensils and making the milk for me.
My aunt
The reason why she was the first person that came to my mind when it comes to thanking someone for taking care of me, boils down all to the efforts she took, relative to my relationship with her. She stayed overnight with me for the two days I was at the hospital. She and me, alone. And half of the time she wasn't even sleeping; she wakesto the slighest shuffling of my feet, or sounds of me adjusting my sleeping posture. No matter how I tried to keep my volume to the lowest, she wakes everytime I make a sound, even the slighest sound of all. The second night was worse. The drooling and neck strain made sleeping impossible. I kept tossing and turning in bed and my aunt was fussing over me all the while trying to make sleep easier for me.
What really touched me was that she was all willing to stay overnight with me despite having to work the next day. And mind you, she was just my aunt. Not my mother, not my father, not my sister, not my brother, not my husband. She is just an aunt. Frankly speaking she isn't even in my list of the 10 People I am Closest To. Yet, she was willing to go such extra miles for me.
Essentially, it is not that I do not acknowledge the care and concern my nuclear family gave me. I guess it all boils down to relativity. That because they closer to me, I would expect more from them as compared to someone like my aunt and JK. So in that light, I saw my aunt as contributing more as compared to my family.
Like what MP said, my dad was probably quietly worried about me, and I was just too independent to give them a chance to be concerned about me. In fact, I did not want to depend on anyone, my family in particular, because I didn't want their daily lives to be disrupted because of me. I didn't want my mum to feel extra pressure because she had to take care of me. I didn't want my sister to feel extra inconvenience because of my mum taking extra care of me.
I feel that I have much more to say but all the thoughts are jumbled up. Shall sort them out first.
iamnotaileen, 10:52 AM.
Monday, June 1, 2009
My Journey Through Orthognathic surgery
The very technical term you see up there, to simplify it, is just jaw surgery.
The Night Before
The night before I went in I was suffering from the worse insomnia ever in my life. Slept for only 2 hours in total? The fear started to slip in, as much as I tried to conquer it. But somehow I just managed to drift in and out of consciousness.
The Big Day
Surgery was at 9am in the morning. Purposely arranged it that way so I don't need to starve myself (imagine fasting till the evening!) and to just get it done and over with.
Was still going strong when they pushed me down that corridor. Nope, no long and dark corridor. But I started tearing when they wheeled me into the operating theatre and finally broke down when the surgical nurse asked me why am I crying (great). And sobbing was a totally bad idea because I got a heavily blocked nose later.
Saw the anesthetist first. Trust me you won't like the sight of the needle going into your hand. The good thing was before I could worry anymore, I was knocked out.
Day 1 After Op
Effectively the same day as my op, actually. Woke up at about 1pm. I vaguely remembered jerking my legs before becoming fully conscious. Weird. Had my mouth taped. Relieved of the fear, I started waving hello to everyone I see in the ward (they must be thinking I am mad).
All went well until 5pm later in the day. Was supposed to start on my liquid diet but I just threw up everything I ate, and most of it came out in the form of stale blood, which pretty much freaked my mum out. The nurse tried feeding me again but no luck. Only managed to consume 60ml of Ensure milk at close to midnight.
The next hell was that nose block. Breathing was just so hard. All the mucus and blood started clotting up in my nose. The nurses couldn't do anything about it because they were afraid of hurting me (apparently there are wounds in my nose as well).
Doctor dropped by at night to remove my tape. Said the faster I rid myself of these nonsense stuffs I better I will get.
Day 2
Nose block is still there and you can practically hear my breathing throughout the night. My aunt came to stay overnight with me. Am really grateful for that. JK came down to relieve her in the morning after staying the whole day with me yesterday. Tks darling.
Nurse finally came down at noon to clear my heavily blocked nose. At that point of time I gave up breathing through my nose. She managed to clear most of the blood clots but the mucus was still there and the nose was still blocked -.-"
Somebody decided to drop by because he was so bored. Managed to entertain me for a while, flirted with my pretty sister, got free dinner and a ride home. Haha. Tks for coming down anyway :)
Day 3
Officially discharged! Finally. Am still feeling a bit dizzy and weak though but can self-feed pretty well! Nose is still blocked but can breathe pretty well now. Started drooling uncontrollably because my lower lips are numb. Am having this piece of cloth around my neck because I am so sick of cleaning it.
I felt like a museum exhibit with my relatives flooding to my house -.-" But the good thing, I am getting lotsa' hongbaos!
Day 4
Sleep was terrible. Woke up almost every hour because the sleeping position was really uncomfortable. Couldn't sleep linearly because the drool keeps coming down on my shirt. Sleeping with my head tilted was a pain as well because of the strain on the neck. Am constantly hungry as well.
Jeraldine dropped by to visit today. Gossip on paper and watched some tv together. Am still drooling uncontrollably.
Finally had a bathe. Can seriously see all the oil clotting on my face. Yucks.
Appointment with doc tmr. Am going to ask him how can I get my swell down faster!
The very technical term you see up there, to simplify it, is just jaw surgery.
The Night Before
The night before I went in I was suffering from the worse insomnia ever in my life. Slept for only 2 hours in total? The fear started to slip in, as much as I tried to conquer it. But somehow I just managed to drift in and out of consciousness.
The Big Day
Surgery was at 9am in the morning. Purposely arranged it that way so I don't need to starve myself (imagine fasting till the evening!) and to just get it done and over with.
Was still going strong when they pushed me down that corridor. Nope, no long and dark corridor. But I started tearing when they wheeled me into the operating theatre and finally broke down when the surgical nurse asked me why am I crying (great). And sobbing was a totally bad idea because I got a heavily blocked nose later.
Saw the anesthetist first. Trust me you won't like the sight of the needle going into your hand. The good thing was before I could worry anymore, I was knocked out.
Day 1 After Op
Effectively the same day as my op, actually. Woke up at about 1pm. I vaguely remembered jerking my legs before becoming fully conscious. Weird. Had my mouth taped. Relieved of the fear, I started waving hello to everyone I see in the ward (they must be thinking I am mad).
All went well until 5pm later in the day. Was supposed to start on my liquid diet but I just threw up everything I ate, and most of it came out in the form of stale blood, which pretty much freaked my mum out. The nurse tried feeding me again but no luck. Only managed to consume 60ml of Ensure milk at close to midnight.
The next hell was that nose block. Breathing was just so hard. All the mucus and blood started clotting up in my nose. The nurses couldn't do anything about it because they were afraid of hurting me (apparently there are wounds in my nose as well).
Doctor dropped by at night to remove my tape. Said the faster I rid myself of these nonsense stuffs I better I will get.
Day 2
Nose block is still there and you can practically hear my breathing throughout the night. My aunt came to stay overnight with me. Am really grateful for that. JK came down to relieve her in the morning after staying the whole day with me yesterday. Tks darling.
Nurse finally came down at noon to clear my heavily blocked nose. At that point of time I gave up breathing through my nose. She managed to clear most of the blood clots but the mucus was still there and the nose was still blocked -.-"
Somebody decided to drop by because he was so bored. Managed to entertain me for a while, flirted with my pretty sister, got free dinner and a ride home. Haha. Tks for coming down anyway :)
Day 3
Officially discharged! Finally. Am still feeling a bit dizzy and weak though but can self-feed pretty well! Nose is still blocked but can breathe pretty well now. Started drooling uncontrollably because my lower lips are numb. Am having this piece of cloth around my neck because I am so sick of cleaning it.
I felt like a museum exhibit with my relatives flooding to my house -.-" But the good thing, I am getting lotsa' hongbaos!
Day 4
Sleep was terrible. Woke up almost every hour because the sleeping position was really uncomfortable. Couldn't sleep linearly because the drool keeps coming down on my shirt. Sleeping with my head tilted was a pain as well because of the strain on the neck. Am constantly hungry as well.
Jeraldine dropped by to visit today. Gossip on paper and watched some tv together. Am still drooling uncontrollably.
Finally had a bathe. Can seriously see all the oil clotting on my face. Yucks.
Appointment with doc tmr. Am going to ask him how can I get my swell down faster!
iamnotaileen, 6:11 PM.
